The Scavenger Alternative
by ynotlleb
Summary: An alternative telling of episode 7.03 with different teams.
1. Meet the teams

_**One of my favourite TBBT episodes is 7.03 "The Scavenger Vortex" when Raj organises a Scavenger Hunt around Pasadena for his friends. What makes this episode even more fun when the TBBT characters are in teams of two without their usual significant others. Chuck Lorre and friends had the intriguing teams of Sheldon-Penny, Leonard-Bernadette and Howard-Amy. What if the teams had been picked differently?**_

 _ **Everything belongs to Lorre, Prady and friends.**_

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10.00am on Saturday morning

In apartment 4A Raj has just announced the Scavenger Hunt.

Raj: Okay, go ahead and divide yourselves into teams of two.

Bernadette: We could just do couples.

Leonard: Couples sounds great or we could mix things up maybe pick teams out of a hat. Whatever.

Penny: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Why don't you just admit you don't want to be on a team with me?

Leonard: I just said couples sound great.

Penny: Hm-mm. Yeah. You don't think I'm smart enough. You just think I'm going to be a liability. Even though I totally just used liability correctly in a sentence.

Raj: No fighting my friends, this is going to be fun. I have put the names of all of the men in a hat. If you ladies would like to come and pick one at random.

The three ladies each pick a name from the hat.

Bernadette: I have got Sheldon.

Penny: I have got Howard.

Amy: So logically I have got Leonard.

Raj: Good, there are 10 puzzles around Pasadena. Each puzzle gives a clue to the location of the next puzzle and so on. Here is a bag for each team, if you all want to go into separate rooms and then you can open the bags.

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Leonard and Amy are in Leonard's bedroom.

Amy: Oh good, it's a puzzle. Give it to me Leonard.

Amy immediately started to put the puzzle together.

Leonard: Wow, you're really good at puzzles.

Amy: I did them all the time as a kid. As my mom used to say when you're doing a puzzle, it's like having a thousand friends. She was full of fun lies like that.

Leonard: It's the Comic Book store.

Amy: Let's go!

Leonard and Amy left 4A and ran down to the car park.

Leonard: Come on, we can go in my car.

######################################

Sheldon and Bernadette are in the living area of apartment 4A working on the puzzle.

Bernadette: OK it's the Comic Book store. All right, come on, that's where we have to go NOW.

Sheldon: But we haven't finished the puzzle.

Bernadette **:** We know the answer, come on NOW.

Sheldon: You think you know the answer. But it could be a trick. What if when the puzzle's complete, there's a sign in the window that says go to the train store?

Bernadette: Let's go to the Comic Book store and find out NOW!

Bernadette pulls Sheldon by the arm out of 4A and down the stairs to the car park.

Bernadette: Hurry up Sheldon.

######################################

Penny and Howard are in Penny's apartment.

Penny: Oh, it's a jigsaw puzzle.

Howard: So let's solve the puzzle.

Penny: You aren't sorry to have the liability on your team Howard?

Howard: No, I am glad I didn't get Bernie.

Penny: You didn't want your own wife?

Howard: My beloved wife Bernadette can get a bit competitive with these little games, I hope Sheldon survives.

Penny: OK, what have we got here.

Howard: It looks like the Comic Book store.

Penny: You are right, OK let's go.

Penny and Howard leave 4B and run down stairs to the car park.

Penny: OK Howard, we are going in my car.

Howard: Onward to the Comic Book store.


	2. To the Comic Book Store

**_An alternative telling of the tale of Raj's Scavenger Hunt in 7.03. Part 2, to the comic book store._**

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10.15am Leonard and Amy were the first to solve the puzzle and drove off to the Comic Book store.

Amy: So Leonard, here were are together again for the first time since the wedding.

Leonard: So it is, let's hope my groin survives this Scavenger Hunt.

Amy: What would my mother make of this, alone in a car with a man and it isn't even Sheldon.

Leonard: I promise not to tell.

Amy: Please don't Leonard!

In the Comic Book store.

Amy: Good morning Stuart.

Leonard: OK Amy, here's the second puzzle. Oh, that's simple. Off we go to the Geology lab at Caltech.

Amy: Goodbye Stuart.

###########################

10.20am Penny and Howard are driving to the Comic Book store.

Howard: Do you know Penny this is the first time I have been alone in car with you.

Penny: You wouldn't have been allowed in here before you met Bernadette.

Howard: Before Bernie turned up I could be a pretty creepy person around women, I can totally understand that.

Penny: Now you are with Bernadette you are not so bad Howard.

Howard: Thank you Penny. We are both eternally grateful to you and Leonard for getting us together.

Penny: Glad we could help.

Meanwhile Bernadette and Sheldon are also driving to the Comic Book store.

Sheldon: Please slow down Bernadette, we won't win the Scavenger Hunt if we crash.

Bernadette: OK but if we lose we know who to blame.

###########################

10.25am Penny and Howard are next to arrive at the Comic Book store.

Howard: Hi Stuart, ah there is the puzzle. That's very easy, come on Penny, to the Geology lab.

Penny: Bye Stuart.

As Penny and Howard are leaving Bernadette comes charging in.

Howard: Hi honey.

Bernadette: Out of my way shorty.

Sheldon. There's the puzzle, obvious answer, next puzzle is at Caltech in the Geology lab. Good morning Stuart, do you have that 'Flash' Comic Book that I ordered?

Before Stuart could answer Bernadette pulled Sheldon towards the door.

Bernadette: Shopping can wait until after we win Sheldon.


	3. Leonard and Amy

**_An alternative telling of the tale of Raj's Scavenger Hunt in 7.03. Part 3, Leonard and Amy._**

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10.30am Leonard and Amy were driving to Caltech.

Leonard: You have met my mother, what did you think of her?

Amy: I first saw her give a lecture at Harvard about 10 years ago. I was very impressed with her scientific work.

Leonard: How about when you met her as a person.

Amy: Well after I had seen through my hero worship of a distinguished scientist and got to see her as a real person I came to the conclusion that she is horrible. I can't see how Sheldon likes her so much.

Leonard: Well she is very different to Mary Cooper, you know how Sheldon complains about his mother.

Amy: Sheldon should be grateful for what he has. I know Mary has her peculiarities but at least she shows some genuine maternal affection for her son. I wish I had Mary Cooper or even Deborah Wolowitz as my mother.

Leonard: You are right Amy, for all their flaws Howard and Sheldon have got good mothers who love their children.

Amy: Unlike us Leonard.

Leonard arrived in the Caltech car park.

Amy: My mother was so strict and controlling during my childhood as she tried to protect me from the world. When I finally grew up and escaped her control I didn't know how to act as an adult in social situations. Only after I met Sheldon and then you, Penny and the others did my childhood truly end and I became a real grown up.

Leonard: At least your mother didn't use your childhood as academic cannon fodder for her research.

Amy: That's true, I suspect there could be some scientific ethics she is violating.

Leonard: Who do we report her too?

Amy: Did you have a 'sin closet'?

Leonard: I am not sure what that is but it doesn't sound good.

By now Amy was close to tears.

Amy: Whenever I did something wrong I got to see the world through narrow slits of an airing cupboard.

Leonard: That's awful, my mother would frequently humiliate me but she never imprisoned me.

Amy: Shouldn't we be looking for the next puzzle?

Leonard: Do you want to do it?

Amy: Not just yet, it's good to talk to you about this.

Leonard: I can't talk to Sheldon about this, he thinks my mother is wonderful. Do you want to go get some tea or coffee and we can carry on talking in a more comfortable place. There is a coffee shop round the corner.

Amy: Good idea, the Geology lab isn't going anywhere...


	4. Howard and Penny

An alternative telling of the tale of Raj's Scavenger Hunt in 7.03. Part 4, Howard and Penny.

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10.35am Penny and Howard are driving to Caltech in Penny's car.

Howard: Penny, I presume that you know that your 'check engine light' is on.

Penny: What about it, that light has been on for years.

Howard: That needs looking at.

Penny: I know, you sound like Sheldon, he always brings it up when I drive him anywhere.

Howard: I'm an engineer, perhaps I can look at it? Your engine sounds OK, maybe it's just a short circuit?

Penny: What about the next puzzle?

Howard: Let's not go too fast, do you really want to beat Bernie in the Scavenger Hunt?

Penny: That's a good idea.

Howard: My old house is just round the corner, I still have some tools in the garage.

10.40am

Howard: Home, sweet, home. I needed to come round this weekend and check on the house, my mother is away for a few days visiting her cousin in Florida. I will open up the garage, could you drive it in.

Penny: Sure thing.

Howard: OK, stop there, turn off the engine and open the hood.

Penny: Thanks Howard.

Howard: Time to be an engineer...

11.30am

Howard: Just as I thought, there is a short circuit between your battery and the check engine light. I have replaced some wiring and put some insulation tape near the check engine light. Can you turn the ignition key please Penny.

Penny: Hey, no light, fantastic. Thank you Howard.

Howard. Glad to help a friend. I need to recharge your battery before we can carry on. It should take about an hour. Shall we stay here for lunch?

Penny: Has your mother got enough food for us?

Howard: My mother has enough food for the entire Caltech Physics department.

Penny: Let's eat...


	5. Sheldon and Bernadette

_**An alternative telling of the tale of Raj's Scavenger Hunt in 7.03. Part 5, Sheldon and Bernadette.**_

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10.35am

As Leonard and Amy drive out of the Caltech car park Bernadette and Sheldon are driving in.

Bernadette. Stupid ambulance slowing us down, look they are ahead of us.

Sheldon. Well this is only Geology, it should be pretty easy, it's not a real science.

In the Geology laboratory.

Sheldon: No stone unturned, which rock is the next puzzle?

Then Bernadette turned over the Rolling Stones poster.

Bernadette: It's behind the Stones, come on slowcoach.

Sheldon: How did you work that out?

10:50am

Sheldon: It's a bowling alley. Yes, my brain is better than everybody's!

11.25am.

Bernadette: So who is going to climb down the elevator shaft?

Sheldon: You are, I am strong enough to help you climb up, especially if I tie this rope round you.

Bernadette: You brought rope?

Sheldon: Just like Sam in 'Lord of the Rings.'

11.35am. Back in Bernadette's car.

Bernadette: To the Planetarium.

Sheldon. Let's go!

12.15pm. Leaving the Planetarium

Bernadette: To the Tar Pits.

Sheldon. Let's go!

12.50pm. At the Tar Pits.

Bernadette: OK here is the clue.

Sheldon: Laundry room.

Bernadette: Well done slowcoach


	6. The winners are

**_An alternative telling of the tale of Raj's Scavenger Hunt in 7.03. Part 6, Amy and Leonard and Penny and Howard and Bernadette and Sheldon._**

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1.00pm.

Amy hugged Leonard as they walked back to the car after the coffee shop.

Amy: Thank you Leonard, it has been good to talk to someone sympathetic about my mother.

Leonard: Same here Amy, at least I know I am not the only one with a defective mother.

Amy: Shall we carry on with the Scavenger Hunt.

Leonard: No, I think I would like to go home now...

###########################

1.00pm.

Howard and Penny got into Penny's car.

Howard: Did you enjoy your lunch?

Penny: I am not quite sure what that was but it was certainly filling. Your mother has lots of frozen food.

Howard: She does, I hope we never have a power failure, weeks worth of food could be ruined!

Penny turned the ignition and then gave Howard a kiss on the cheek.

Penny: Look Howard, no 'check engine light.'

Howard: If I had known that was going to happen I would have fixed your car a long time ago. So onward to the Geology lab?

Penny: After all that food I don't think I want to do any more movement than I have to for the next few hours. Do you mind I drive home?

Howard: No problem. I will just close up the garage and off we go...

###########################

1.30pm.

With a screech of brakes Bernadette parked at the Apartment building.

Bernadette: Go, go, go. To the laundry room.

Sheldon ran after Bernadette into the building and down the stairs to the laundry room.

Sheldon: There's a spot on my t-shirt.

Bernadette pulled him away from the bag of dirty laundry.

Sheldon: Oh I see.

As they ran up the stairs they could see Amy, Leonard, Penny and Howard walking up the stairs together.

Bernadette: Out of our way!

Sheldon: Excuse us.

Bernadette burst into 4B and went straight for Sheldon's Spot on the sofa. Under the cushion was an envelope labelled 'Scavenger Hunt Winners' which Bernadette grabbed. Then Bernadette hugged Sheldon.

Bernadette: We did it slowcoach.

She then stood on the table and kissed Sheldon.

Sheldon: Well done Bernadette, what did we win?

Bernadette opened the envelope as Amy, Leonard, Penny and Howard entered 4B and Raj appeared from by the bedrooms.

Bernadette: Two dollars, all that effort for two dollars!

Raj: Do you think I am made of money?

Bernadette: Yes!

Raj: Didn't you enjoy yourself today Bernadette?

Sheldon: I did, it was good to spend some time with my friend Bernadette.

Howard: I had a good time with Penny.

Penny: Yes we did, Howard fixed the 'check engine light.'

Leonard: I had a good time with Amy.

Amy: Yes, it was good to talk with my friend about our mothers.

Bernadette. I'm sorry, when you grow up with 4 brothers and sisters these things can get a bit competitive. Thank you Raj.

Raj. Thank you Bernadette and congratulations to you and Sheldon.


End file.
